January 2016

Hey you! Congrats on that ring!

I’m here to help you have the best. day. ever.  I did on my wedding day and you will too!  Here is a little advice so that we can make sure that happens.

• Make it you- Do you want your family to come together and dance the night away, or do you want it to be intimate?  Either will be beautiful as long as it’s what you want!  Others may try to alter what you have so lovingly envisioned.  You do not have to let them!

• Find your venue first! It could very well determine what else you’ll need to spend on: what kind of dress you’ll wear, what vendors you’ll need to hire, what type food you want catered, etc!  For example, I went with a lightweight dress since I knew the venue we picked out was mostly outdoors, and we live in smokin’ hot Florida.  Our guest dined on locally treasured bbq since our reception was in a barn.  Your venue will certainly inspire you!

• Keep it as simple as you can!  You do not want to look back on those photos you paid so much for and think “yuck!” Simplicity and class will never go out of style!

• Have a back up plan.  You most likely will not need it.  We had a plan B for our outdoor ceremony/cocktail hour that we totally didn’t use.  But you do not want to be working out a rainy day plan when you’re supposed to be having fun getting all done up!

• Have a day of coordinator.  Being the perfectionist bride that you are, I know you’ll have this thing planned out to the very last piece of baby’s breath. You’ve probably decided you don’t even need a wedding planner. You go girl! However, it is SO worth having someone set all those details up for you on the day of.  A day of coordinator will make sure your vision comes to life, so you don’t have to stress over it.  They will support your perfectionism by ensuring that everything stays on schedule and everyone involved is where they need to be when they need to be there.

• Find a photographer who captures the moments you want.  Don’t cheap out- you’ll want to look at those precious moments forever- and most likely, you get what you pay for.  Ask them to see a whole wedding, as they usually only keep highlights on their blog.  Hire people you get along with.  We may have a “couple crush” on our photographers because they are some of the sweetest, coolest peeps!  If you’re local- or even if you’re not- those cool peeps are called Nate + Lori.

• Get a videographer and don’t cheap out.  White in Revery is the best.  But really, do your research.  We set a number for our budget.  We knew that we wanted to best photographers and videographers -no matter the cost- so we picked those out first and budgeted around that.  Worth it? heck yes.

• Want your dog in the wedding?  Stay tuned for my upcoming post about that!

• Being a perfectionist, you have a longer To-Do list than the average bride.  Because of this, you’ll need to solicit some of those “to-dos” to your loving friends and family.  My amazing  creative friends in our wedding party helped us with several DIY projects I really wanted in the wedding but had approximately 0 time to make.  My future sister-in-law was asked to make our guestbook table numbers. My hubby’s mom and little sister picked out the props for our Photo Booth.  One of my first grader’s creative mommy made chalkboard signs. Yes, you are super woman, but you have people who love you and want to help.  Do not be afraid to ask for it!  I was so surprised and relieved because of the help we received…all we had to do was ask!

• Visit lots of venues and compare prices…negotiate those prices or get someone to do that for you.  Was the venue we got married at the very first we visited?  Yep.  Did that stop us from doing our research? Nope.  It was really fun venue shopping and as we visited each new place it made us so much more sure that our choice was the ONE!

• Have all major things done a week prior.  Most of our family lives out of state.  So having that bit of extra time with everyone who flew down for our wedding was super special to us. Relax and enjoy your last week as a finance!

• Don’t plan your honeymoon to begin the day after.  Give it a day.  You’re going to need it.

• You won’t eat at your wedding.  You just won’t.  And it’s okay.  Everyone told me that and I love me some food (especially the 4 Rivers bbq we had catering our dinner) so I didn’t believe them.  Well, they were right.  The nerves and excitement really gets to you! So you need to force these things down your throat while you’re getting ready: water, sugar, protein.  You don’t want to pass out or feel light-headed at the alter.

• Follow a timeline while planning.   I researched a few and combined them to set planning goals.  I knew what I wanted to have accomplished by 10 months out, 6 months out, 2 weeks, the day before, etc.

• HAVE AN OPEN BAR.  Even if you don’t drink!  I was definitely a sober bride on my big day.  However, a lot of people will know only a little bit of people at your wedding.  This can make people feel too uncomfortable to shake their groove thing on your dance floor.  Having alcohol will definitely help loosen your guests up and amp up the party! If you are worried about paying for those pricey drinks, have a stock the bar party!  Our engagement party was one of those and everyone who came brought a bottle of wine or liquor for our wedding day.  This almost completely stocked our open bar!

• Register for functional wedding gifts!  Do you really want to eat off plates that can’t be washed in the dishwasher?  I would definitely reccommened registering at Bed Bath and Beyond because they have such a wide range of quality items and will take just about anything and everything back on a return.  Plus, your family and friends will be able to use their 20% off coupon and save some moolah!

 

Wedding planning is stressful.  When it gets to be too much to handle, stop and think about it.  You are lucky to have this problem.  It means you have found the one who will love you forever.  There are so many people who would love to have the very amazing problem of wedding planning overload.  So breathe hun,  because you got this!

YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!! And I am so simply happy for you!

 

Check out how my perfectionist planning turned out for me by reading the wedding part one and watching our video here!

How it all came together was kind of amazing.  This day, this celebration, that was our wedding.  I just know my words won’t be able to describe how radiant, how beautiful, how simply happy this day was for me.  But I’ll attempt to get close!

The rehearsal dinner was so much fun!  Dustin’s mama did an amazing job organizing the night!  It was at a New Smyrna Beach grill called Barracudas, which was just the right kind of local spot to fit our simple personalities; not to mention the management was pretty awesome and they offered gluten free options that actually tasted good (props Barracudas!).

Family we haven’t seen in a while, yummy food and drinks, and silly stories of Dustin and me danced around as we celebrated with the sound of the Atlantic Ocean waves crashing in the background.   Dustin’s Uncle Ward, from Colorado (where we got engaged!), gave the sweetest speech that did not leave a dry eye on the deck.  I know we’ll probably never have another opportunity to have so many of our loved ones from both families all together for two nights…or even one…ever again, so it was a pretty fantastic occasion for us.

Dustin and I stayed together until the very last second (he couldn’t see me past midnight, of course).  But we wanted to practice our secret dance at least once in the barn at the venue just to feel a little more confident for the next day.  We smooched good-bye and I walked over to the cottage (on the venue…so awesome!) to spend the night with most of my bridesmaids and our dog, Carter.  And let me tell you, sleep was not going to happen for me that night.  I’m just one of those people that has a body that does the opposite of what it should do the night before the biggest day of her life. But hey, it seriously all worked out.

The next day, the girls and I rose early for hair and makeup.  Let me tell you, it was so uber-convient to be able to get ready comfortably at the venue.  For a girl with high anxiety levels, this was pretty clutch.  Carter spent the morning of our wedding day going back and forth from the girls cottage, to the groomsmen bungalow.  He could not have behaved more perfectly.  It’s as if he knew what this day was or something.  This dog, (who can also have extreme anxiety levels at times, bless his perfect heart), just sort of laid around in the middle of us all, completely content and relaxed.  It’s not like I expected him to be wild or anything, but I was so very proud of my bud and his chill demeanor.

So to the background buzz of pandora playing some sort of calming vocalist (probably Vance Joy because he’s my fave) the hair stylist and make-up artist got us all done up.  All the while, my bridesmaids spent the morning cracking me up (they are seriously a silly bunch) and I spent the morning trying to shove some sort of protein (pretty sure it was a cheese slice) and sugar (ginger ale through a straw) down my throat.  I had absolutely no appetite at all, but I was trying to be pro-active by not allowing my low blood sugar to get the best of me in the middle of our ceremony.  Haha low blood sugar… you did not win that day!

I made sure to provide snacks and sandwich platters for my lovely ladies, but my wedding day did not halt their appetites as it did mine.  So when my mom burst in with McDonalds Happy Meals for our entire wedding party, I think it was appreciated by all.  Thanks Mama!

I had some crazy nerves that day man!  It wasn’t that I was nervous to marry Dustin.  Not at all.  He had always been the one.  I had known this from the start.  As a kid…really, it’s weird!  It probably was just excitement nerves because this day that we have been putting so much of our free time and effort towards was finally here.  But probably mostly that we were super ready to be married at that point and that itself made the excitement for real.

When it was time to put that pretty little white dress on we stuffed all the bridesmaids in the bathroom (sorry girls) so that we could do a big reveal.  LOVED their reactions! Made me even more ready to walk down the aisle to my man!

My step-dad’s first look was super special to me too.  Glad our awesome photographers caught that moment.

The jewelry I wore when I was a bride was both simple and sentimental.  The necklace, with my dad’s fingerprint on it, is the one that I wear every day of my life, the ring is the one dad gave my mom when I was born, and on my other hand: my engagement ring of course!  My Nana also bought me these pretty vintage earrings that matched my hair piece so nicely.

My nerves finally calmed when we had our “first touch.”  Our photographers or videographers (one of those crazy-creative couples) chose the perfect spot so that Dustin wouldn’t see me.  He was on one side of the barn, and I was on the other.  The nerves were still there until he stuck out his hand and wiggled his fingers and I smiled and grabbed onto them.  We decided ahead of time that we were going to exchange the gift of scent and a second simple gift.  We wanted to the gift of scent because every time we wear this perfume and cologne now, the smells brings us back to our day.

The simple gift I gave my husband-to-be was a book written by my first grade class.  The title: How to be a Good Husband to Ms. Neary-Carey.   Don’t you know being a good husband involves buying me a hamster? (: Dustin cheated and got me two gifts, each with a note that made me tear up.  The first, a notebook intended to write love-notes back and forth to each other.  That Dustin! Such a secret lovey-dovey! He also gave me a pocket Bible; the note inside explained it was to be taken on our adventurous trips.

Our worship-pastor from church (and officiant), Andy, and led us in prayer before I let go of Dustin’s hand.  And after that, my nerves were settled.  Seriously! I was beyond ready for that man to be my husband and could feel God’s love surrounding us.

We had two other special gifts.  And we made our beautiful mamas cry when they opened them! Dustin gave my mom a bracelet that said, “I’ll take care of her always” with my birthstone on it.  I gave his mom one that said, “Thank you for raising the man of my dreams” with his birthstone on it.  My mom is a tough woman who never cries.  I was doing pretty good at happy-facing it when I started walking down the aisle during the ceremony.  It was easy to do because I was SO happy.  Then I saw her cry face (which is similar to the one she made when she opened the bracelet, but worse!), and I about lost it.  It’s automatic for me to cry when I see my mother cry.  Gosh Mom!

It was time for portraits outside.  The last thing before the ceremony.  I’m the person who is late to everything.  I really am.  I even have my clock set five minutes ahead in my first grade classroom so my sweeties won’t be late for specials.   Anyway, I remember that I kept asking how we were doing on time.  This was a time that I wanted to be on time.  Okay, well normally I always want to be on time to things…what I should say is this was a time I was for sure, absolutely going to be on time.

And then, all of a sudden, it was THE time.  We were all in the barn and the doors opened for the grandparents, and then the parents, and then it was the bridesmaids turn.  All the while I stayed hidden in the barn, and was sitting so I didn’t accidentally pass out and fall on my face.  Has that happened before on other days? Why, yes.  So I sat.  Then my sisters and  baby brother went out, then the cutest flower girl in the world went out, then my Carter Leigh went out…then it was time to stand up!

I grabbed on to my step-dad, Bruce, all dapper in his new suit, and away we went.  Like I said before…saw loved ones…smiles….saw the most handsome husband-to-be…smiles….saw my mom “ugly-crying” (term pinned by her)….bring on my tears.  I was able to pull myself together as Andy (our officiant) said his opening words.  I loved when he asked who was giving me away,  and my step-dad’s response was, “we do.” An extremely simple gesture that so obviously honored my dad.

Dustin and I took another moment to honor my dad by putting a rose on the seat we saved for him.  This was the hardest part of the ceremony for me.  I’ve always known there would be a certain sadness about my dad not being there the way most bride’s dads can be.  I’ve known that forever.  It’s those big moments in life that I dread him missing out on.  But then again, I don’t think he missed out on our wedding day.  I think he was there, somehow, in some form.  It was really me who was missing out on seeing him.  And it’s actually very difficult to talk about this because I never really do, and it’s so raw still, and so real still, and still so difficult for me to handle.  And it was difficult for me to handle on that day too.  But I’m so glad we saved a seat for him and let him know that we were certainly aware he was right there in that front row for it all.

I really can’t remember the exact order of the ceremony, but I know my favorite part was the vows.  Dustin’s vows.  When those were happening, I just remember thinking that I could stand of there forever and listen to them!  All that time I spent worrying about passing out…there was no way I was about to do that and miss out on a single one of his words.  I remember when we decided to write our own vows.  Dustin agreed that is was something we should definitely do, but he was pretty hesitant and slightly nervous to do it.  Listening to them, you would have thought he was a writer!  Or at least able to write decent papers for the English classes that he took…sorry babe!  But seriously, he nailed it!  I could watch our video over and over just to hear him say those darn vows.  It rocked.

My turn.  I had prepared my vows, and edited them, and made sure my words would capture a sliver of the infinite amount of love I have for this man.  I wanted my vows to be the truth.  I wanted my promises to be real .  It was simply beautiful to be able to declare these things in front of God, Dustin, and our loved ones.  It also rocked.

And then we were a Mr. and Mrs!  I just recall being shocked that it really just happened. And I loved it! And that I was a wife! Who had a husband!  And it was simply time to party!

 

Check out the wedding part two for the reception deets and our wedding film!

photos by Nate + Lori // nateandlori.com